30 Day Yoga Challenge!

Photo by Jessica Dozois Campbell of Girls With Film Photography

Recently, I was speaking to a photographer friend of mine, Jessica Dozois, who runs her business out of Chilliwack, BC, about an hour outside of Vancouver. Jessica is a single mom who works hard to both live her dream of being a photographer, but also to look after and provide for her adorable son Max. So between long photo shoots, looking after her son and spending all night loading and altering pictures in the evenings, Jessica doesn’t get a whole lot of time to herself to relax or otherwise.

But when the Chilliwack Times started the 30 Day Yoga Challenge, as a New Year’s Resolution in which participants must do hot yoga at least once, each day for 3o days, Jessica was quick to jump on board, noting that it was something she felt she had to do for herself. So yoga mat in hand, she made her way to the studio to bend and stretch in a high temperature room.

When I asked Jessica how she felt about the challenge, she had this to say, “When I first tried Bikram yoga they give you a form to fill out. And under ‘Why you are coming?’ is a multiple choice answer…I choose ‘To lose weight’ but after only going for only a short while, I realized how it made me feel mentally, which was amazing and is why I continue to go.” Some days, she didn’t feel like attending and her muscles begged for a break. On other occasions, it was her mental saviour when inevitably, life gets a little bit hectic. But most of all, Jessica discovered that taking time for yourself is a vital part of mental and physical health, be it in a yoga studio or in your bedroom with a good book. “Being in the hot room for ninety minutes of sweating like you’ve never sweat before, pushing yourself to do the best you can and when you come out of there it is the best feeling of accomplishment.  Not just with the 30 day challenge, but overall, bikram yoga has changed my life. It makes me happier and healthier than I’ve ever felt before.” Jessica quickly found that if she missed a day (you are allowed to miss a day in the challenge, but it means that the following day, you must do two classes), she often craved being back in the studio, surrounded by the supportive atmosphere that the owners create.

So what did Jessica do when her 30 Day Challenge was over? She signed up for another one, which completed on 29 Feb. And although it’s no longer a “challenge,” Jessica embraces yoga in her life every day, to find peace and relieve stress. As it turns out, the 30 Day Hot Yoga Challenge wasn’t just about going to a class each day, but rather, it’s about making the resolution, no matter the time of year, to take time for yourself, in any form. It isn’t until we give to ourselves that we are ever able to give fully to others.

Kelly

Deep and Compassionate Listening

The world is in need of gifted listeners. There is so much suffering out there, so much pain defining so many lives. Many of these people would be helped immeasurably if they had someone to listen to them. An hour of talking about their problems to someone who knows how to listen deeply and compassionately would dissolve tight knots of suffering in their psyches.

We should all aspire to learn to listen with the skill of the bodhisattva Avalokitesvara, “The one who hears the cries of the world.” This means listening without interrupting, without registering judgment on our faces or through our body language. This is a learned skill that takes practice to develop! When we are engaged in this kind of deep listening, our bodies, faces and auras will make it clear that we are truly hearing the other person; that he or she is free to speak without fear of being interrupted, judged or criticized. Only then will the individual feel safe about sharing what’s inside.

There’s a good reason people spend small fortunes to talk to therapists: there is a deficit of skilled listeners in their lives. Some people go their whole lives without the benefit of finding a person skilled at deep listening; they suffer greatly and needlessly. Resolve to become that kind of listener for the people in your sphere today.

We often have no idea what’s going on inside other people. Outwardly, people may project a façade of sunny nonchalance, while they are in fact in an inward state of turmoil. How often, after suicides or homicides, do we hear expressions of utter astonishment from friends and family? “He seemed to be doing just fine;” “She was quiet and kept to herself, but I never dreamed she would hurt herself;” “He was doing so well at school and with his new girlfriend—why would he do something like this?” These are the kinds of statements and questions that often follow a tragedy brought on by unrecognized emotional illness.

The human psyche is a fragile thing; the slightest biochemical imbalance, blow to the ego, or sense of loss can have a disastrous effect. As far as we know, we are the only species in the animal kingdom that requires a sense of meaning and purpose beyond the fulfillment of basic needs. Our highly-developed cerebral cortex is what has enabled us to thrive as a species, but it also makes us vulnerable to despair. Without a sense of belonging, a higher purpose, and meaningful goals to aspire to, we fall easily into despondency. When we feel hopeless and also feel that no one understands us, the problem becomes magnified and more serious. Finding even one person who will truly listen to us in a deep and compassionate manner can make all the difference in the world!

I’ve found that conscious breathing and meditation are an absolute must in developing one’s listening skills. In order to hear what another person has to say without reacting in a counterproductive manner, we have to be fully grounded and calm. Different people have different subjects and modes of expression that “hook” their reactive minds and send them into an emotional tailspin. If you’re going into a situation that you know is fraught with emotional landmines for you, the importance of preparing with conscious breathing and meditation cannot be overstressed. There’s nothing wrong with delaying a listening session if you don’t have adequate time to prepare your mind, body and spirit—in fact, the other person is better served by it. Even better, you can get help from someone who understands and/or shares your spiritual practice (without betraying any confidences, of course).

The bodhisattva Avalokitesvara and his female counterpart Kuan Yin are often depicted in statues with many arms, symbolizing the universal help they offer to those in need. These mythological beings are also known for their listening; they are “[those] who hear the cries of the world.” I recommend taking the time and effort to become a deep and empathic listener in the tradition of Avalokitesvara/Kuan Yin. It will have a wonderful effect on your sphere of influence, relieving suffering in many people and giving you a deep sense of connectedness and usefulness.

All the best,

William

Who Are You, Really?

Recently, I’ve been doing a complete overhaul of my apartment, sorting my things and getting rid of items that are just clogging up my space. And then I decided to attempt to sort my years of photos, all stashed in boxes and albums. Eventually, I came across this photo of me from about five years ago. In a way, she is a totally different person from who I am now. I had just started at a new job in the military, I was missing my creative life and I was feeling very lonely, having just moved away from my family for the first time. This girl is nervous, excited, and energetic. It wasn’t so long ago, but this girls feels so very young to me.

My recent job change has led to some serious analysis of who I am, as I ponder what it is that I contribute to the world. What is my identity? Who am I? So as I peer through pictures of my childhood and then ones from my not-s0-distant past, I’ve been trying to answer all of these questions. I figure we can only realize who we are by looking at who we once were.

For a long time, the only identity that I allowed myself to relate to was that of author. I wanted to write since I was six years old (corny and cliché, but true) and so I allowed that role to consume me. So much so, that I almost missed out on my opportunity to join the military, simply because I was convinced that it wasn’t the life I was meant to lead. And then once I enrolled, I became so entrenched in the military lifestyle that I couldn’t imagine myself as anything other than a soldier. When suddenly stripped of that identity, I felt lost and because of this, I have spent the last six months since my release desperately searching for my lot in life. I couldn’t be “just” writer, could I?

Alas (yes, I just said “alas”), my soldier and writer identities are one in the same. Without my military experience, I would never have found my initial writing niche, which has led to many lucrative writing contracts. Without my time in the forces, I wouldn’t have developed such an amazing work ethic that is vital in the freelance writing world. Most of all, I wouldn’t have discovered all of my strengths and weaknesses and learned how to parlay those into a successful writing business that brings me such joy, I can’t ever imagine how I turned my back on my writer side for all those years. This girl here, she is a part soldier, part writer, part friend and part daughter. She knows who she is. She laughs a lot. She is happy.

I’m sure you’re all wondering how this relates to yoga, but really, I don’t know if I ever would have come to these conclusions without my yoga practice. Part of meditation and yoga is learning to love yourself for who you are, getting in touch with your true self. Without yoga, I wouldn’t have gotten this far. I would still be wrestling with all of my different parts, desperate to somehow link them all together.

The moral of this story is this: As your life roles ebb and flow, don’t fight against them: Embrace them. Accept all of the new parts that make you who you are. Too often, we obsess about the identities that society places on us, be it parent or spouse, employee or student, writer or soldier. All of the talents, characteristics and experiences that comprise your soul can co-exist; you don’t have to be one or the other. Don’t let the world tell you who you are. Figure it out for yourself and refuse to label it.

Kelly

Does your yoga world need some organization?

Google the word “yoga” and a million different sites will pop up for your perusal. In fact, it quickly becomes difficult to discern the credible from the crazy, and you could easily waste hours of your time trying to to research one small detail of your practice. As a former military logistics officer, whose job it was to be the penultimate of organized, the mass of information overwhelms and exhausts me.

So you can imagine my excitement to come across websites like Yoga Vancouver and Yoga Toronto. Want to see what classes are running and at which studios? Want to connect with other yogis? Want to find a specific teacher or read about upcoming yoga-related events? These websites let you do all of these things and answer of all these questions with a quick click of your mouse button. In a matter of 15 seconds, I was able to wade through the slew of offered classes and instead, pare them down by a variety of different categories; which class was running next, which studio is closest to me, and what type of yoga was being taught. Brilliant. Organized. Right up my alley.

These sites have some really great features to them, all of which didn’t take me long to navigate. There is a classifieds sections where users can easily access anything from yoga items to massage practitioners to wellness books. There is a whole section dedicated to yoga instructors, with information on everything from insurance to finding studio space. But perhaps my favourite part of the site was the Social Yogis link, which instantly takes you to a site that allows you to connect with other yoga lovers, watch instructional videos and participate in forums. I felt I was being given intimate insight into the daily practices of the site members, giving me new ideas for expanding and developing my own routine. Websites like these, along with Yogaflavouredlife.com, make deepening your practice that much easier, because they allow easy access to information, by collecting sources from a variety of places and delivering it to you all in one nice and tidy package.

So if, like me, you enjoy a little organization with your warrior pose, these websites are for you. With oodles of information at your fingertips, at the very least, these sites are worth checking out.

Kelly

What’s Your Source?

Lakeside forest illuminationCreative Commons License photo credit: K3ntFIN

When you self-identify as a Humanist, adherents of revealed religions often feel compelled to take you to task regarding your beliefs, or (in their view) lack thereof. I actually have many strong beliefs: in freedom of conscience, human rights, democracy, ecology, the expansion of consciousness through yoga and meditation, to name a few. (Incidentally, one of the most absurd phrases to enter the popular lexicon in recent years has got to be “values voter.” It’s used to identify conservative religious voters, as if everyone didn’t vote according to their values, whatever they may be!)

I’m agnostic regarding the existence of gods or deities (I find the question largely irrelevant); along with many of my friends, this gets me the “nonbeliever” label among certain theists.

I realize there are many Humanists whose sense of identity is primarily centered around their nontheistic worldview. Indeed, if you peruse the American Humanist Association website or read Free Inquiry magazine, you’ll find more written on this topic than any other single issue. Nonetheless, under the secularist umbrella, you’ll find individuals who self-identify using a wide range of labels: Humanist, non-theist, agnostic, atheist, freethinker. To each individual, the differences among these appellations is significant. Then of course there are all the adherents of nontheistic religions, such as Buddhism, Taoism and Confucianism. There are also many Jewish, Christian and Muslim humanists: people who subscribe to one of these theistic religions but put humanity ahead of dogma. For these people (I realize I’m using very broad strokes here!), when a religious doctrine is found to be an affront to conscience because it causes unnecessary suffering, it is reinterpreted or jettisoned.

I recently had an encounter with a believer in a personal god who said, “My source is God. What’s your source?” (Strongly implicit in the question was the assumption that anything less than a supernatural entity was suspect.) I asked him what he meant by the word “source.” He replied that God was the one who empowered him to remain centered in an uncertain world; the one from whom he received the strength to deal with the difficulties of life. I answered that my Humanist life stance and holistic spiritual practice led me to consider my “source” a combination of my own mind and the collective consciousness of humanity. Thinking about it a bit more deeply, I went on to mention my physical and spiritual ancestors, my friends and family, my community and my companion animals: everything and everyone that empowers me to be fully human.

The answer I received was unfortunate. My monotheistic friend declared all these to be limited and flawed, whereas God (he said), was limitless and perfect.

It’s my personal policy to avoid damaging anyone’s working spirituality. If belief in or devotion to a god, a saint, a Bodhisattva or a sacred text makes an individual spiritually whole and a better human being, I fully support it. I myself sometimes “pray” to the goddess Gaia or the Bodhisattva Kuan Yin (although I conceive of them as mental constructs of human ideals rather than actual persons or entities). I have no interest in undermining anyone’s religion, although I will readily critique it if I perceive that’s it’s causing harm. Hence, I didn’t take the bait and explain why I considered his god every bit as limited and flawed as any other source. Instead, I simply explained why the sources of personal power I’d mentioned were sufficient for me.

My view of divinity is a creative spirit arising within the Universe. It can be apprehended in the majesties of the natural realm; it guides the best of humanity to work together toward the highest ideals of reason, compassion and creativity. If miracles are to happen, they’re up to us; we can’t rely on an outside agency to make them happen.

Of course, I could be wrong about this; perhaps there is a transcendent deity standing somehow outside the Universe and intervening directly in human affairs. All I can say for sure is that at this point in my spiritual journey, the evidence against this seems to outweigh the evidence in favor of it. But it’s tremendously liberating to be comfortable with ambiguity about such things.

But what about this idea of self, family and friends, physical/spiritual ancestors, community, spiritual teacher and companion animals as one’s collective “source?” This makes perfect sense in my view. These are all genuine entities, encountered through our senses and apprehended by our minds. We don’t have to twist ourselves in knots trying to prove or disprove their existence. Not one of them is perfect, omnipotent, or entirely benevolent. The best of them are people much like ourselves, with good qualities and bad, trying to do the best they can. More than good enough for me! My father had flaws; he was also a great, generous man who bequeathed precious gifts to my sister and to me. Although their spirits left their bodies long ago, my grandparents still advise and direct me. My mother is very much my North Star, I’d still like to be her when I grow up! Kuan Yin (AKA Avalokiteshvara), Gaia, the Buddha, and Jesus are all my spiritual ancestors. Thich Nhat Hahn is my cherished Sensei. My wife, my daughter and my friends are more precious to me than I can say.

And my cats are perfect. Just ask them.

All the best,

William K Ferro